Nine kosher Proseccos, cheapest first, with the hechsher and the alcohol on each. Glera from the Veneto, fermented in a steel tank rather than the bottle, which is why it tastes of green apple and pear instead of toast. Seven of the nine are mevushal. Also: why extra dry is sweeter than brut, and how cold to serve it.

Smirnoff No. 21 comes in three sizes: 750ml at $16.99, 1L at $19.99, and the 1.75L handle at $22.99. Per drink the handle is roughly forty percent cheaper than the small bottle. Plus No. 57 at 100 proof, the two green apple bottles, the gluten free question, and how many drinks are in each size.

Amaretto is the category; Disaronno is the brand inside it. The full name used to be Amaretto di Saronno, which is where the confusion started. There are no almonds in it - it is built on apricot kernel oil and seventeen herbs and fruits. 28 percent alcohol, OU certified, $39.99 on our shelf, and four things worth doing with it.

Margaux is a village on the left bank of the Gironde, not a grape and not a chateau. It is the perfumed one of the four great Medoc communes, it holds more classified growths than any other, and three of its estates are on our shelf between $129.99 and $149.99. What the 1855 list means and what you are paying for.

Brandy is distilled fruit - plums make slivovitz, figs make boukha, grapes make the rest. Nine bottles from $19.99 to $249.99, what VS, VSOP and XO really mean, why so much of it is marked Kosher for Passover, and which one to bring to a bris, a kiddush or a gift table.

Jameson Original is $34.99 and Black Barrel is $54.99 - but the first question is the cask, not the price. Why the cRc lists Jameson as not recommended, what triple distillation actually does, the difference between the two bottles, and which Irish whiskeys on our shelf are aged in bourbon wood only.

A litre of Ketel One is $39.99 - exactly what a litre of Grey Goose costs on the same shelf. The Dutch pot-still wheat vodka the Nolet family has made since 1691, why it is the bartender's martini default, where forty dollars sits on the vodka ladder, and the one thing to know before Pesach.

Ten four-packs from $16.99 to $24.99 - sparkling moscato, dry Israeli rose, a real gin and tonic, a brunch mimosa and a pina colada, all in 250ml cans. Which are mevushal, which are kosher for Passover, and which pack to grab for a park, a kiddush or a Shabbos brunch.

A sweet peach liqueur at 15 to 20 percent - not a brandy, not for sipping, and the whole reason a Fuzzy Navel tastes like anything. Both litre bottles on our shelf are under fifteen dollars. What the difference is, the four drinks worth making, and why German schnapps is a completely different thing.

No - grenadine is pomegranate syrup at zero percent alcohol, and a Shirley Temple is safe for a six-year-old. What real grenadine is made of, why the cheap stuff is just corn syrup and dye, and the six mixers under nine dollars that do the most for your drinks.

Seven Rashi bottles from $7.99 to $19.99, running from 5 percent alcohol to 11 percent. Two are Italian and four are from New York State, the Claret is semi-dry where everything else is sweet, and only some of them are kosher for Passover. The whole range in order, and which one belongs on your table.

Three Beluga bottles on our shelf at $32.99, $54.99 and $119.99 - same Siberian distillery, same malted barley, same 40 percent. What changes is resting time and one unusual ingredient. Why Noble is the one to buy, what the maple in Allure actually does, and what the $119.99 wax-sealed Gold Line is really for.